Love doesn't grow!!

Yes, it's true... All things do grow in and because of love, but love, itself doesn't grow. Love shrinks, in fact. I've learned through long and excruciating research that love (or lack thereof), doesn't magically grow over time. So, start big or go home!! 

After, more than enough, time to heal & learn from my last few relationships, alone, I've decided it's time to start dating again. However, one thing I will never do again is settle. I want that ... sweep you off your feet, blow you out of the water... magical, storybook romance and I'm no longer going to settle for anything less! 

Why set the bar so high?? Well, one... See paragraph 1... You've gotta have a pretty spectacular love from the beginning because the truth is that love, even with lots of care and nurturing, slowly but surely shrinks over time. Of course, if you're lucky and you both work really hard you can strive to keep your love as strong as the day you met. 

In fact, you should always strive to make each kiss as magical as the first kiss. But, sadly.. No matter what you do.. It'll never be better than it was in the beginning. Based on this theory, why would I settle once again for a less than average beginning knowing that it'll just be down hill from said weak start?? I won't! Not ever again!! 

I'm ready for a real, enduring & lasting relationship and I know that will take a spectacular beginning to accomplish! 

Plus, I have two teenage girls and everything I do, now more than ever, directly affects what they do & who they will become. So, I will, never again, show them a less than perfect relationship or love. 

Am I setting the bar high?? You're damned right! Because they deserve it!! And, frankly, so do I! It took me a long time to remember my worth after years and years of neglect, loneliness and abuse both mentally and physically. 

However, the self-esteem crushing affects of each bad relationship have left my heart, mind and soul & I'm ready to begin once again to search for 'the one'. 

I'm looking for the right person to hand over my heart & trust that while I focus on tending to theirs, they will always, equally tend to mine. 

This is no small feat. Of this, I am aware. However, I have faith and I believe that after everything both the girls and I have been through over the last 15 years, we are due a little serendipity & devine intervention.

 So, there it is... I've put it out there... I'm single (as I've been for over 6 months now). For the first time in my life I didn't jump right into my next relationship after my last break up & decided, instead, to figure out what it is that I want in life & what kind of person I'd like to walk beside me. All of which, I've taken my time and thought & I'm finally ready to put myself out there again and join the ever risky land of dating. 

Wish me luck!!