The Boy Toy

OK, so perhaps my headline is a bit too comedic considering the seriousness and honesty of last nights post. However, I'm feeling a bit better. We talked & talked & talked. I even let him read my blog entry. I think, I really got through to him this time. Although, I know I've said this before, many times, actually. The truth is, I don't have time to date right now. My daughters are in the process of becoming young women as I type. Caitlin is dating & entering high school next year. Madi is following close behind entering middle school. The absolute last thing that I need right now, is falling in love. I can't lose myself completely, as you should, in the beginning of any true love. So, I have to give this relationship everything I've got until it's absolutely exhausted all possibilities. Things may not work out. In fact, things might end sooner than I had expected. However, at this moment, he has promised to make drastic changes in his behavior & begin communicating with me more effectively. So, we shall see?

On to a more positive topic, my house is filled with children. It's Sunday afternoon and Noah (Caitlin's boy toy) and a few of the girls friends are once again spending this Sunday at our house. I love cooking BIG Sunday dinners for a whole crew of family and friends. I know, I wouldn't be able to provide for my children as I do now, if our income was reduced by half. I know, I wouldn't be able to see my children as often as I do now if I had to get a full-time job right now. Not to mention, the risk I would be taking with my health if I disobeyed my doctors orders. So, for all of that & more, I am grateful for Jonathon. I just hope and pray that he really begins to appreciate me the way I appreciate him. I hope and pray he begins to treat me better and joins us back in the real world. I hope and pray, he puts the down controller (both literally and metaphorically).

Thank you all for your time listening to my ramblings. I made myself a promise to reach out in times of need, to cry when the tears begin to swell in my throat, & to pray as much as possible, especially in times that feel hopeless. I really appreciate your private emails, comments & advice. These blogs have opened doors & friendships for me that I could have never imagined. I know, I'm late to 'blogville', but better late than never, right?

Wish me luck blogtopia!!